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The Five C's

What the?! ... Chickens!, Procrastinating Lego Star Wars Girl, and Captain McShanty invite you to sail the 'five C's with the Catch CP Cnot Crediting Contest. That's right kids! You too can have a Captain McShanty line of products and/or services and subsidiary (or supersidiary) company or branch of your very own! Just catch me callously not giving credit or (more unforgivably) taking credit for an idea - that I probably stole after hitting someone (or you) over the head with a steal pipe and running off cackling maniacally into the night - and you'll be the proud recipient of a spanking new Captain McShanty themed apology and an IOU for 100 Captain McShanty doubloons redeemable at any Captain McShanty Brand store or establishment world wide. Good luck everyone!

In honour of the 5Cs here is some pirate-themed funny. Arrrgh!


Disclaimer: Captain McShanty and all related companies, products, services, flora, fauna, hand gestures, and bawdy limericks are fictitious (fools!). Any resemblance to actual stuff is purely coincidental (and funny). Also, Captain McShanty doubloons aren't actually worth anything to anyone (except to Denise because she lives in a fantasy world with unicorns and rainbows).


Credit: Thanks to D for letting me run with the hilarity that is the Captain McShanty line of things and stuff (stuff and things?) and in advance for any future Cap'n M names that may originate from her because she is damn funny and better at coming up with sea related names than I am.

Facebook follies

There are some things that bother me about Facebook (mostly the obvious things). Although I'm not necessarily the one to talk since (even though I was slightly wary of putting personal information on the Internet) it took little convincing for me to join once I found out all the cool kids were doing it. I ended up joining Facebook and I check it almost every day to see what other people are saying. But still, I don't think I like Facebook. No...No I don't. I like things about Facebook, like the pictures and how you can have little mini-conversations that are like an intermediate between MSN and actual email and the fact that a lot of my friends like it.
I don't really feel up to a tirade about the downfall of society and eloquent communication (people communicate a lot, just not properly) or comparing and contrasting the historical physical lack of privacy vs. the present informational and personal lack of privacy (it's a toss up which is worse, the present state of affairs makes for a lot more lonely people I think, I don't care how many "friends" you have on your list). I will say this though, I know I'm not alone in my scorn of people who have like 500+ friends on Facebook. That is stupid! There is no way you know that many people personally and I don't think you should call people your friends unless you have actually met them dammit! Maybe this requires a new word for friend? A word meaning someone who isn't your friend in real life but you know of them through someone who may or may not have met them down the line? Facefriend perhaps?

Anyway, enough of that. I just watched the following short video that spurred me to rant:

Does what happen in the Facebook stay in the Facebook?

Also, here is a story about the use of Facebook to protest Facebook. Oh the irony! I can't really comment too much because new Facebook is the only version I've ever known. The news does make it easier to get in, read the new stuff, and get out quickly though. In the end call me a hypocrite because I use Facebook even though I don't like it, but no one was ever rewarded in the long run by being ignorant of what is going on and this is an aspect of life now. It's up to everyone to decide how they are going to make any new thing (not just Facebook) work for them.

p.s. Now for the quiz: How many times did I use the word Facebook?

Safety is better with Simpsons

Give a Hoot! Be Safe!

Everyone loves safety training! I recently took the H2S Alive course (fast becoming industry standard) and am now fully prepared to follow the rescue plan: Evacuate, Alarm, Assess, Protect, Rescue, Revive, Medical Aid.

http://www.dupps.com/h2s.html

The "Chickens" Concert series #1: Econoline Crush

I knew someone would post something on YouTube, there were a lot of camera phones around. Anyway, super fun (and late) times watching Econoline Crush at the Roxy on friday.

A Chickens! Educational Sidebar: A Lesson in Chicken Terminology

It's time for everyone to benefit from my recent (and not so recent) learnings on chickens, chicken bones, and the like. Later I may discuss more advanced topics but, first, a lesson in chicken terminology. While all fowl of the species Gallus gallus are called chickens there are more specific names for specific types. All young chickens are called chicks (that's easy). A male chicken is a cock (or rooster) or a cockerel, depending on its age. Similarly, a female chicken is called a pullet or a hen. The age at which a pullet becomes a hen and a cockerel becomes a cock depends on what type of chicken is being raised. Purebred poultry producers have very age-specific definitions. A chicken is a cockerel or pullet if it is less than one year of age. After one year of age, the chicken is referred to as a hen or cock. In the commercial industry a female chicken is called a hen after it begins egg production (around five months of age). A sexually mature male chicken (again, around five months of age) is referred to as a rooster. A capon is a castrated male chicken - these are valued for their meat as the lack of testosterone and slower ageing giving more time for weight and fat gain makes for better flavour. Speaking of flavour, different types of chickens are called different names based on their market purpose. Broiler chickens are reared for meat rather than for eggs. The broiler industry began in the late 1950's when strains were selectively bred for meat production. Layers are reared for eggs. The most popular chicken breed for this (and in general) is the Leghorn (as in Foghorn Leghorn). This chicken breed (pictured to the right) originates from The Port of Leghorn in Italy (woohoo!) and arrived in Britain in the late 1800s in the white form followed by the brown, and was a favorite of settlers because of it's high egg yield and relatively good meat. Good stuff, I hope everyone will look forward to future posts about archaeology related avian identification and other issues.

Yo-Yo Chickens

What the ?! ... Chickens! supports the France Yo-Yo Association.

The Chickens! How To Guide (Vol.1): Squash!

OBJECT

The basic principle is for you and your opponent to alternate hitting the ball against the front wall until one of you misses.

RULES

Serving:
Players must keep one foot in the service box as they serve.
The ball must hit the front wall between the service line and the out line, and land in the area behind the short line on the opposite side of the court.

Rallying:
For the remainder of the rally, players must hit the wall above the board and below the out line.
The ball is only allowed to hit the floor once before each shot, but it can hit as many walls as the player wants.
If a player fails to hit the ball before it bounces twice, hits the ball into the floor before it hits the front wall, hits it outside the out line, or hits the ball out of turn (ie.when it is their opponents turn to return the ball) then they lose the rally.
A player can also lose a rally if the ball hits them or their clothing before they strike the ball.

SCORING

In the traditional, British system you can only score points when you are serving. When the player receiving serve wins a rally, the score does not change, but he or she becomes the server. So if you are facing serve, you need to win two rallies to register a point. A match is usually the best of five games to nine points. If the score reaches eight-all, however, the player who is not serving at the time can choose whether to play to nine points or to 10 points.
During points, a player can be impeded or unsighted as they try to play their next shot, and can ask for a let. If the referee decides this is deserved, he or she can order the point to be replayed, or award the rally to the player who has been affected depending on the situation.

TACTICS

The first rule of squash is: DON'T HIT THE WALL WITH YOUR FACE! This is the first rule of squash for a reason. After that, the best strategy is to make your opponent do the running (this means you have control of the game). Try to return to the "T" at the centre at the court. Remember it is easier to run forward than backward. Switching from short to long or long to short game is a good trick but try to make sure it doesn't backfire on you if your opponent does manage to return the shot. Keeping the ball low lessens the chance of your opponent reaching it before it bounces twice. Corners and edges are good to shoot for too (especially the two back corners) because the ball does not bounce well and your opponent's racquet works against them there. Also, remember you don't have to wallop the ball every time, especially if it is near the wall sometimes the better choice is a lighter tap.

EQUIPMENT

Players use a different ball depending on ability and preference. Squash balls will have a coloured dot which indicates speed and bounce.

The recognised colours are:

Double Yellow - extra super slow (the type used in competition)
Yellow - super slow
Green or white - slow
Red - medium
Blue - fast

Tip: Be sure to warm up the ball before play as there can be up to a 40% difference in speed and bounce depending on the type of ball you are using. Also, WEAR GOGGLES!

Modern racquets are usually made of composite materials such as kevlar and graphite (retro ones were made of wood). They are 70 cm (27 inches) long, with a maximum strung area of 500 square centimetres (approximately 80 square inches) and a weight between 110 and 200 grams (4-7 ounces).

These are not to be confused with racquetball racquets (or badminton racquets):

Lent is over...

So I made it through lent unscathed. I can have coffee again (I'm on my second mocha now). Now those who know me know I'm not particularly religious and any respect I may or may not have had in the Catholic Church and its representatives was essentially torpedoed into oblivion a while ago. I know some would say I shouldn't generalize based on some few experiences but quite frankly I can't really think of a particularly positive (read: not very upsetting, boring, or otherwise undermining to my faith in the intelligence of individuals and/or the general populace) so there really is nothing else to go on. Anyway, despite all that, I think Lent is a good idea. Not for religious reasons (though I don't want to make baby Jebus cry by breaking it) but I think in this generally gluttonous western world of ours it is a good character building exercise to give something up for a while. Not just anything, you can't say "I'm giving up smoking" if you are a non-smoker...though I suppose you could take up smoking and then give it up - that would be hardcore. It has to be something hard to give up because not only does it make you appreciate the pleasure you got from it but it reminds you that you can live without it. Also, I like to know that my own strength of will is enough to triumph over temptation (not biblical temptation but "I want that but I'm not allowed to have that but I'm going to have it anyway because I want it" sort of instant gratification temptation). Think of it as giving a positive outlet to your stubbornness. However, it is also very important to remember that even if you don't make it all the way through Lent, you tried and kept trying and that is always a good (and brave) thing (besides, as my Dad says, you can always repent on your death bed). That said, now that I've gone without coffee for this long should I start drinking it again? Should I save my friends the trouble of prying me down from the ceiling because of my caffeine induced twitchiness? Nah!

To Whom it May Concern:

Watch for the signs of Caffeine-Induced Organic Mental Disorder aka. Caffeine Intoxication

Results from recent consumption/injection of caffeine, usually in excess of 250 mg.

Subject exhibits at least five of the following signs:

restlessness
nervousness
excitement
insomnia
flushed face
diuresis
gastrointestinal disturbance
muscle twitching
rambling flow of thought and speech
tachycardia or cardiac arrhythmia
periods of inexhaustibility
psychomotor agitation

For my buddies who loved it

Here's a little bit of nostagic Canadiana for the kids. You gotta love the National Film Board, so many memories. It gives me (and others) such warm fuzzies. Later I may do a post on Hinterland Who's Who.

National Film Board of Canada animated short films have been put online and can be viewed online here, my favorite is the Blackfly song.

Once again, I must apologize for my abject lack of tipping of the hat to my sources of inspiration/material. The above post was inspired by Captain McShanty's Ideaworks and Nostalgiamatorium (a subsidiary of Denise Brand Fine Bootleg Rum Inc.).

The Simpsons is good for everything

It's true! Anyone who has spent more than an hour with me knows that most things in life can somehow be related back to a Simpsons reference in some way, shape, or form. Take today for instance. I went to the gym for the first time in like forever. This event is perfectly illustrated by:

It isn't bad (Mom)! It's funny and it helps me contextualize the world in an amusing (if somewhat irreverant) way. Though my sister will sympathize with me that sometimes it is hard to explain to non-Simpsons quoters why on earth you just started giggling when you heard about some poor fool eating purple berries or failing English.

Today's Post: Music and Bones

So the Junos were on Sunday (I missed most of it but that's OK) and D says Three Days Grace had a very good performance. I love them and that made me want to watch them so I looked at this website:

And found these videos:

Pain

Animal I have become

I hate everything about you

Home

Just like you

You gotta love the internet. Hopefully D will post something about the Junos and find a link or something to watch their performance (I know how she loves the option of watching things on the internet instead of on the TV).

I'm excited too because my experimental cutmarks are being boiled down today. Then they will be finally cleaned tomorrow in EW's zooarch lab. Good times!

Cutmarks photo courtesy of Captain McShanty's Happy Fun Times Bone Photography (a subsidiary of K.Wutzke Archaeological Photos and Muffins Inc.). Please note that all experimental cutmarks photos that may or may not have been viewed in recent ARCH990 presentations are the artistic property of the above and the author expesses her sincerest apologies for her inexcusable lack of giving credit where it is due.