The far reaching effects of copyright law

Then: Monsanto patents genetically modified canola, engages in legal battle with a Saskatchewan farmer.

Now: Monsanto has been ordered to take full repsonsibility for recent contamination of same Saskatchewan farmer's fields by same patented genetically modified canola.


And now a completely untrue reenactment of the events:

Farmer to Monsanto: I don't know where those seeds came from, they must have blown in from somewhere! Like seeds do!
Monsanto to Farmer: You lie! See you in court!
Farmer to court: It was an accident! Also, you can't patent a plant! It's a higher life form! Jerks!
Courts to Monsanto: He's right you can't patent a plant, but it's cool because you can patent a gene and a process to insert said gene.
Courts to Farmer: Pay up Thiefy McGee!
Farmer to Courts/Monsanto: Oh no you di'in't!
Supreme Courts to Farmer: OK you don't have to pay legal costs but you can't keep the seeds or the crops.
Farmer: Fine! Whatever!
Some years pass...
Farmer to Monsanto: Hey! Get your seeds off my lawn!
Monsanto to Farmer: Shove it!
Farmer to Monsanto: You shove it!
Court to Monsanto: Shove it!
Monsanto: Fine! Whatever!
Regular canola to Monsanto: "You're not the boss of me! Jerks!".

In other partly true news (see if you can guess which one is mostly true):

Egypt to copyright pyramids.
Take that British Museum!

God to take action on illegal bible distribution by Gideons.
God to smite Gideons: "They will face prosecution, court orders to pulp any versions breaching copyright law, and their lands shall be ravaged by locusts and famine for seven years."

Poland to copyright Copernicus' visage as determined from newly discovered remains.
Says representative "We're thinking of using him in advertising. He'll be bigger than Orville Redenbacher". Poland's claims are challenged by the Flat Earth Society who wish to use his image to make a posthumous retraction of his "Earth is not the centre of the universe thing".

Simpsons to copyright use of the word "Meh" in casual conversation.
I said "Meh".