Firelight

In my continued blog-warfare based battle to get little cp to give her last MTC post, here is the recent spoof that SNL did of a certain movie. Take that!

p.s. Taylor Swift's opening monologue was pretty funny too.

Borden System Words: Alberta

Continuing in our search for filthiness in the Borden System, we move on to Alberta. There's sure to be some bad words in there! What with all the oil rig workers and such. Unfortunately, 1/4 of the upper borden grids have Qs in them! Lousy Qs!

Turns out that Alberta has significantly fewer BSwords than Saskatchewan (IQ, IP, HQ, HO, GQ, FQ, FP, EQ, and EP had no words at all...slackers). Here they are by upper borden block (keep in mind that, as we learned last time, the lower North-South bordens only go up to l and the lower East-West bordens only go up to x, which means we miss out on some good words like "fool" and "grog" and "goon", but no swears though):

IO – ikon, icon
HP – hips, haps
GP – gips, gaps, gape
GO – glow, glop, glom
FO – flow, flop
EO – egos, ebon
DP – dipt, dips
DO – dhow

Bah! I guess glop is good because its literally dirty, but that wasn't what I was going for. Oh well, I'm 0 for 2 so far, but we'll see next time.

p.s. A "dhow" is a traditional Arabic sailing vessel. Learning is fun!

Mind of Pi (#4)

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar...

...and doesn't.

Chickens! Concert series (#31): Priestess

You may remember Priestess from previous posts, in which I almost saw them but was trapped in the line that was 1 million kms long. But that injustice was redeemed last night! I must say that I like their first album (Hello Master, 2006) a lot more than the newest album (Prior to the Fire, 2009). I was getting a little worried when they got through almost their entire show without playing any of my favorites songs from Hello Master, but then they did "Lay Down" (some of you may know this song from Guitar Hero 3) and "I am the Night, Colour Me Black" plus "Talk to Her" and I was all happy.

The new songs are much heavier and more "progressive" sounding. That's OK, but I wouldn't have liked the band as much if their new album was the first I had heard of them. Although their new songs are interesting to listen to, often with twists and turns in the music. The openers were pretty decent too. I liked Trigger Effect's music more, but Early Man had a tighter performance.

This is the setlist from the Ontario concert but it seems like it was the same from what I remember (except I'm sure they played Run Home at the beginning somewhere):
-The Gem (this was like a 10 minute song!)
-Raccoon Eyes
-Two Kids
-It Baffles The Mind
-The Firebird
-Trapped In Space & Time
-Lay Down
-Sideways Attack
-Lunar
-I Am The Night, Colour Me Black
-Lady Killer
Encore:
-Everything That You Are
-Talk To Her
-Communicating Via-Eyes (this one is about werewolves...good times)

Borden System Words: Saskatchewan

The Borden System divides Canada up into chunks based on the lat/long system to provide a handy way of designating unique site names based on the site's location and the order in which it was found (just like the Stonecutters!). It was created by one Charles E. Borden in 1952, while teaching at UBC. Borden is known as the grandfather of BC archaeology. This is despite the mild handicaps of having been employed in the German Department (although he was made a lecturer in archaeology after his first 10 years there) and being an American citizen. See a good bio from the CAA here, also American Antiquity printed an obituary for him. His contributions to BC archaeology (and archaeology in general) were numerous. Among other things, he excavated many important sites, was instrumetal in the pressuring of provincial government to pass the 1960 Archaeological an Historic Sites Protection Act, and of course developed the Borden Grid System which all Canadian archaeologists know and enjoy today.

Let's look at how it works shall we? Say we have the site FfNm-1 (that's South Branch House).

"F" is the Major South-North locator. Each North-South block represents 2 degrees of Latitude going from "A" through "U" (no V through Z). While "f" is the Minor South-North locator (the minor blocks for "F" range from "a" through "l"). For both the North-South and East-West, each minor block within a major block represents 10 minutes of latitude or longitude respectively. from south to north (a-l). "N" is the Major East-West Locator. To the South of 62 degrees, each of these blocks represents 4 degrees of Longitude from east to west (A - W). However, North of 62 degrees each major block represents 8 degrees of longitude. FYI: Because the distance between lines of longitude get smaller with increasing latitude, the Borden System changes at 64 degrees north latitude, from a width of 4 degrees of longitude to a width of 8 degrees in order to keep the area within each designate roughly the same. Lastly, "m" is the Minor East-West Locator, each block represents 10 minutes of Longitude from east to west (a - x). North of 62 degrees each minor block represents 20 minutes of longitude. The full Borden designation, FfNm-1, represents a roughly 16km x 16km area and the 1st site found within that area. Upper Borden grid maps are downloadable at the Canadian Museum of Civilization here.

Now rumour has it that Charles Borden went to great lengths to prevent cussin' via archaeology in his system and hence omitted several key potential Borden designations. That sounded like a challenge to me....

So, Saskatchewan (see the upper Borden grid to the right, click to embiggen) includes these Borden letters:
North/South - D(g-l), E(a-l), F(a-l), G(a-l), H(a-l), I(a-l)
East/West - O(a-l), N(a-x), and M(k-x).

With quick use of a scrabble cheating device (here), I found that the following 51 words can be spelled using the Borden system in Saskatchewan:

dims, dine, ding, dink, dins, dint, diol, elms, fane, fang, fano, fans, fems, fend, fens, feod, find, fine, fink, fino, fins, floc, floe, flog, gamp, gams, gane, gang, gaol, gems, gene, gens, gent, genu, gimp, gink, gins, glob, hams, hand, hang, hank, hant, hemp, hems, hens, hent, hind, hins, hint, idol

I guess "dink" is kinda dirty and "gink" is a slang word for a person or fellow that is often used in a derogatory context. Also, a "gamp" is an umbrella. It's not dirty, I just didn't know that before. Anyway, as it stands Saskatchewan is clean as a bean. You win this round Charles! Nonetheless, I remain undaunted in my task and will continue to scour Canada province by province for giggle worthy words!

p.s. I wonder if french words count if they're in Quebec.

Bohe-muppet Rhapsody

A (late) BD present for those of you who love muppets:

p.s. Is it me or is animal looking a little funky?

You have the right to remain fluffy...

p.s. Where's my Chile post?!

If swashbuckling gentlemen thieves had to deal with sports news

from the Onion (these guys are hilarious!).You may remember the Onion from past posts.

Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist

p.s. This reminded me of the Scarlet Pimpernel. I got the 1934 movie for Christmas one year and loved the black and white goodness! It's public domain now so is available for free (legal) viewing or downloading here.
p.p.s. Thinking of the Scarlet Pimpernel reminded me of Daffy Duck as the Scarlet Pumpernickel. One of my faves!

Salsa Dog

I continue to wait for little cp's Missing the Chile: Epilogue post. Beware for I will be merciless in my postings until my demands are met!

p.s A sighting of the great FSM's visage in Chile, truly it is a blessed country.

Misheard lyrics #3

Manfred Mann's "Blinded by the Light" (cause we talked about it yesterday). Weee!

What you actually heard:

[Chorus]
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
[repeat 2x more]

Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...

[Chorus - repeat 4x]

Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong,
play the song with the funky break"
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Asked me if I needed a ride
But she was...

[Chorus]

Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tired
She's gonna make it through the night
She's gonna make it through the night
But mama, that's where the fun is
But mama, that's where the fun is
Mama always told me not to look into the eye's of the sun
But mama, that's where the fun is
Some brimstone baritone anticyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
Says, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone,
that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner,
watching the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone, reminding him of romance
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...

[Chorus - repeat 9x]

Blinded by the light

Madman drummers bummers, Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
Now Scott with a slingshot finially found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not said daddy's within earshot save the buckshot, turn up the band
Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong"

Misheard lyrics #2

The Clash's "Rock the Casbah" has always baffled me. In all honesty, I only learned the real lyrics just now.

What they actually said:

Now the king told the boogie men
You have to let that raga drop
The oil down the desert way
Has been shakin' to the top
The sheik he drove his Cadillac
He went a' cruisin' down the ville
The muezzin was a' standing
On the radiator grille

CHORUS
Sharif don't like it
Rockin the casbah
Rock the casbah
Sharif don't like it
Rockin the Casbah
Rock the Casbah

By order of the prophet
We ban that boogie sound
Degenerate the faithful
With that crazy Casbah sound
But the Bedouin they brought out
The electric kettle drum
The local guitar picker
Got his guitar picking thumb
As soon as the sherif
Had cleared the square
They began to wail

CHORUS

Now over at the temple
Oh! They really pack 'em in
The in crowd say it's cool
To dig this chanting thing
But as the wind changed direction
The temple band took five
The crowd caught a wiff
Of that crazy Casbah jive

CHORUS

The king called up his jet fighters
He said you better earn your pay
Drop your bombs between the minarets
Down the Casbah way

As soon as Sharif was
Chauffeured outta there
The jet pilots tuned to
The cockpit radio blare

As soon as Sharif was
Outta their hair
The jet pilots wailed

Chorus

Sharif don't like it
Rock the casbah
(He thinks it's not kosher)
Rock the casbah
Sharif don't like it
Rock the Casbah
(Fundamentally he can't take it.)
Rock the Casbah
Sharif don't like it
Rock the Casbah
(You know he really hates it.)
Rock the Casbah

CP sez "increase your wordiness":
Casbah - specifically the citadel of Algiers and the traditional quarter clustered around it. More generally, a kasbah is the walled citadel of many North African cities and towns.
Muezzin - a chosen person at a mosque who leads the call (adhan) to Friday service and the five daily prayers (salat) from one of the mosque's minarets.
Sharif - a traditional Arab tribal title given to those who serve as the protector of the tribe and all tribal assets. Can also refer specifically to a descendant of the prophet Muhammad through his daughter Fatima.
Bedouin - desert dwelling predominantly Arab ethnic group (previously nomadic but presently mostly settled).
sheikh - Arabic honorific term commonly applied to an elder of a tribe
rāga - refers to melodic modes used in Indian classical music

Misheard Lyrics

Spurred by a recent discussion of the incongruous nature of misheard lyrics, I had to share this video highlighting the hilarious reality of singing along with the often incomprehensible Eddie Vedder. I especially like the "I said I don't want a whale in a box or a bag". Fantastic.

FYI here are the real lyrics to Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter" (curiously, I can't really tell which lyrics make more sense):

Unsealed
On a porch a letter sat
Then you said I wanna leave it again

Once I saw him
On a beach of weathered sand
And on the sand I wanna leave it again

On a weekend wanna wish it all way
And they called and I said and I want what
I said and I call out again

And the reason oughta leave her calm I know
I said I know what I wear that a box or the bag

Oh yeah can you see them?
Out on the porch
Ah, but they don't wave
I see them
Round the front way, yeah
And I know and I know
I don't wanna stay

Make me cry

I see
I don't know there's something else
I wanna drum it all away
And I said
I said I don't know where there's a box or the bag

Oh yeah can you see them?
Out on the porch
Ah, but they don't wave
I see them
Round the front way, yeah
And I know and I know
I don't wanna stay
I don't wanna stay
I don't wanna stay

p.s. You may remember Pearl Jam from this post.