Buon Vigilia di Natale!

Happy day of "fasting" everyone! Buon Vigilia di Natale (Christmas eve)! The day before any feast day there is a traditional day of abstinance from gluttony and Vigil Mass (note the connection to Vigilia de Natale). Nowadays this is really only for Christmas eve (which makes sense because every other day is a feast day in the Catholic calendar depending on which saints you like). The 1983 Code of Canon Law eliminated true fasting, but traditional Catholics still keep the fast in spirit by eating seafood, noodles, other forms of pasta, etc. for the Christmas Eve Supper (so no "meat"). Many Italian households always prepare a certain number of fish dishes (mostly a central/southern trdaition) . Seven is most common and this usually represents the seven sacraments (but may also represent the days in a week, the seven pilgrimage churches in Rome, the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, or just about any religious-y thingy that is a multiple of seven). We don't usually trouble with that many fishes though (baccala, shrimp, and pasta with fish sugo are the staples), I think we're doing good enough just observing the fish thing. Traditions are fun.

A note on goodies: Most Italian Christmas goodies like panettone (italian version of fruitcake) or torrone (nougat) are made with nuts (especially almonds) and honey. According to folklore, to eat nuts favors the fertility of the earth and aids in the increase of wealth and prosperty (i.e. more children and animals running around=good). The honey thing goes back to ancient Rome where it was offered at this time of year so that the new year might be sweet. Those wacky peasants and their tasty theories.

And now by popular demand...The Simpsons w Polska

Oh those Polish, how they love their Simpsons. Good times! It turns out that most of The Simpsons episodes, have been "lectored" but not fully dubbed. Lectored means that it was translated entirely by one (usually male) actor instead of a cast of characters. Apparently this is very common in Poland and most Russian speaking countries. It's also called a Gavrilov translation. Neat. I tried to find a lectored clip but I have no idea if the following clip is partially legit interspersed with crazy music clips are just all crazy.

[This clip has been removed because it turns out it is highly offensive. Who knew?!]


So then I found this clip but it is confusing, it sounds like there is Polish but I can't tell what is going on. I think I'm supposed to assassinate someone now but I'm not sure whom...


Oh, but The Simpsons Movie was fully dubbed into Polish. Unfortunately I couldn't find a clip of that either but here are some guys talking about the movie:

It seems that my first escapade into Polish Simpsons has been a moderately hilarious failure. Oh well, I'll keep looking. I did find the self-proclaimed "biggest Polish Simpsons website" here.



CP sez "increase your Polish-ness", fun words to learn and know that will help to navigate the website:

Napisy = Subtitles
Obrazki = Images
Inne Obrazki = Other Images
Fan Art = Fan Art
Programy = Software
Audio = Audio
Wygaszacze = Screen Savers
Tapety = Wallpapers
Themes = Desktop Themes
Skiny = Winamp Skins
Gry = Games
Wideo = Video
Ineraktywne = Interactive

p.s. Actually I have no idea if any of this is really Polish. They said it was but I don't know. K is this actually the spider pig song: "Swinski pajak, Swinski pajak. Robi to co kazdy swinski pajak. Uwaga, to swinski pajak" ? The online translator wouldn't tell me but at least some of the words are right aren't they?
p.p.s.You know what?! I don't even believe in Poland! It's all a lie! A lie I tell you!

We're all going to archaeology hell!

That's right! Because we all forgot to celebrate the feast of Pope Saint Damasus I patron saint of archaeologists on December 11th. I'm not sure what sort of penance should be done to make up for it...40 lashes? no beer for a month? no deer for a month? feel really guilty? recant on the deathbed? Wait...some of those things are for different things. Dang what was I talking about again? Oh well. Hey, did you know that December 19th is a big day for Vietnamese saints? There are 12 saints with today as their feast day and 5 of them are Vietnamese martyrs. Curiously, all of them were strangled.
St. Augustine Moi
St. Thomas De & Companions
St. Dominic Uy
Bl. Francis Man
St. Francis Xavier Mau
Of the many other interesting saints of the day (and several uninteresting ones), I think my favorite is St.Manirus. He was a Bishop and an apostle to Scotland and he evangelized the Highlanders in the northern regions. He was revered for his kindness and goodwill. Awww. I like him because he was nice to kittens (note: may or may not be true) and he wasn't martyred (note: usually a prerequisite for sainthood).

Authors sidebar: I find delving into the lives of various saints interesting (and often comical, I know that's politically incorrect but it's true) - see my first post about saints from March. So much intrigue, violence, sacrifice, heroism, and lunacy - everything you'd want really. And while I often make light of the irony (can we say euphemism boys and girls?) inherent in many facets of religion, it is also sobering to think of the violent aspects of religious clashes through history, especially when it is brought to new lands. All the more reason to never forget the past...

And now for no reason a Simpsons clip from the Czech Republic...


p.s. there are over 100 Vietnamese martyrs (collectively known as the Martyrs of Vietnam) who were recognized by Pope John Paul II in 1988 and there are over 50 Vietnamese saints with known causes and backgrounds. Not all of them were strangled. Some were beheaded.

Deleted scenes from The Simpsons Movie...

I think it's important to barrage everyone with various Simpson-y-ness between serious (well relatively serious) posts. It makes me giggle and it takes little to no effort.

Crazy commercials for the Simpsons game...

I like this one the best:

The Chickens concert series #10: Grady and pals

An evening of blues-rock-country fun. All the better for the myriad of buddies visiting. Good times (really late times though, that's the thing I don't like about the Roxy). I liked Grady although a lot of their songs were very similar and tended to bleed into eachother. Here's Grady's website. I found a video on YouTube of the concert, not the best quality but you get the gist:

Murder City Sparrows were interesting. Almost had a little punk flavouring to it but that could just be the high pitched vocals (or the emo hair?). The base player plays a 5-string which is cool but he struck me as a bit of a tool (that could just be his schtick though). The guitar player had Guy Fawkes facial hair which you just couldn't stop looking at. He turned out to be super nice though. I bought their CD 'cause I felt a little bad for them hanging out at the merch table alone. The drummer and singer had food poisoning from the Subway across the street so they had gone back to their hotel. What troopers, playing a whole set with food poisoning! Their CD isn't half bad even. Here's the website: Murder City Sparrows. A few of their music videos are on YouTube too, here's one of them:

The Sheepdogs are a local band that I had heard of but never seen before. I liked them, they are pretty mellow but in a good way. They were probably the favorite of the evening for the group but that's probably due to the fact that they went on first and everyone was awake still. The were the most country of the three bands I think (that's why Kim like them so much). Here's a video of the Sheepdogs when they played at Louis' (I couldn't find one from this concert):

A response to "Yes I watch Bad TV"

at Procrastinating etc. Girl. That Funny or Die website is pretty amusing. I especially liked these two David Blaine parodies. Hilarious if you've ever watched any of his real street magic stuff. The guys who did it are a group called ThoseLilRabbits.
David Blaine Street Magic #1
"Quit putting stuff on our bodies!"

David Blaine Street Magic #2
"Quit putting orange soda in our mouths!"

The Chickens Concert Series #9: Tool ... No you're a tool!

Definitely an interesting concert. The tour website is here . It was more experimental/progressive than I was expecting but still awesome. The light show was trippy. The stage had an interesting setup with Keenen in the shadows in the back next to the drummer (he feels more comfortable that way). They had large screens playing videos (I hear they have it set up so that the videos play randomly so that no two shows are the same). And for one song they had a kid from the Make-a-Wish foundation on playing guitar (which I thought was very nice of them-metal guys are such softies on the inside). The Wikipedia article about them is pretty impressive. I will now filter out the interesting tidbits from said article and feed them to you coloured with my own commentary. So there.

Stats:

Tool was formed in 1990 in LA. The band consists of Danny Carey (drummer), Justin Chancellor (base), Adam Jones (guitar), and Maynard James Keenen (vocals).

Fun Facts/Musings Part 1: Damn the Crazy Religion Man

In 1993 during their Undertow tour, Tool was scheduled to play the Garden Pavilion in Hollywood. But they found out at the last minute that the Garden Pavilion is owned by the Church of Scientology. Maynard spent most of the show baa-ing like a sheep at the audience. This is, on the one hand, hilariously awesome! Learning that made me laugh until I stopped. But on the other hand it sucks for the people who just wanted to see the show. I mean, isn't it a little hypocritical of Tool to berate a group of their fans who just wanted to see them play when they themselves were playing there (if ignorance of the venue owner was their excuse I don't see why they couldn't cut their fans the same slack). Anyway, officially the band felt Scientology clashed with "the band's ethics about how a person should not follow a belief system that constricts their development as a human being". Neat. Hey you know, it kind of reminds me of that time Ashley MacIsaac played that concert where he did nothing but rant and swear at the audience for 20 minutes (Dec.31/99 in Halifax). He said it was verbal irony (Why do people always misunderstand irony when it is couched in offensive or racist satire!? Stupid %$#% literal #^&%@* jerks!). So these two cases are different because MacIsaac is intentionally using shock tactics as part of his whole thing that he has going, while Tool was voicing their opinion of a bizarre cult come disturbing pseudo-religion. But, in the end, the result is the same.

Fun Facts/Musings Part 2: Challenging the Norms

Tool has been plagued by censorship for much of their career, both for their lyrics and videos which are both often challenging and/or disturbing. Especially by that fount of cultural acceptance, MTV (insert ominous cackling here). So that's socially relevant commentary and imagery on important and difficult issues - zero; reality TV and vacuous teenage hoes - 10,000.

Some History for the Kids:

Tool dealt with multiple legal battles in the late 90's. Suits and counter-suits with their record label and ex-manager. During the delays that this prompted the band members dispersed to other projects for a while (though they didn't break up). Maynard founded A Perfect Circle. I miss them, they haven't officially disbanded or anything but they have been "working on other projects" since 2006. Oh well.

Since 2000, Tool has released 2 albums: Lateralis and 10,000 Days. At the height of the Napster controversy Tool announced the release of a fake album called Systema Encéphale and a fake track list to go with it. Needless to say Tool frowns on file sharing. Anyway, later they released Lateralis which featured, among other things, extremely long songs (they even had a 10 minute music video). After that Maynard kept up with a Perfect Circle and toured with them until the 10,000 Days tour. Whew! What a sordid little tale they have!

Compare and Contrast:

The 10,000 Days album won a Grammy for best art in February 2007 but, they lost to Wolfmother for best hard rock performance. Hmmmm...interesting reflection of Grammy biases or simple Boo-urns? You be the judge.

Artist: Tool
Album: 10,000 Days
Title: Vicarious

Artist: Wolfmother
Album: Wolfmother
Title: Woman

p.s. Here is a Dil's review of the concert. Definite tool fan!

A Chickens! Cultural Moment II: Swan Lake

The first time I have seen Swan Lake. A lovely time was had by all I think. Ballet is at once impressively athletic and beautifully artistic. I only wish there had been a live orchestra. And kudos to Denise and I for introducing ballet to some newbies. Click here for Denise's post about the delightful performance of Giselle that we went to in September. I loves me some culture.

I'm pretty sure that the following Russian cartoon from 1947 is an accurate depiction of what we saw (although some of the animals may or may not have been played by people.



p.s. A musical aside (Cara sez, "Improve your wordiness"):

Symphony = an elaborate instrumental composition in three or more movements, similar in form to a sonata but written for an orchestra and usually of far grander proportions and more varied elements. Also, a concert performed by a symphony orchestra.

Symphony or symphonic orchestra = a large orchestra composed of wind, string, and percussion instruments and organized to perform symphonic compositions.

Orchestra = a group of performers on various musical instruments, including esp. stringed instruments of the viol class, clarinets and flutes, cornets and trombones, drums, and cymbals, for playing music, as symphonies, operas, popular music, or other compositions.

Philharmonic = fond of or devoted to music; music-loving: used esp. in the name of certain musical societies that sponsor symphony orchestras (Philharmonic Societies) and hence applied to their concerts(philharmonic concerts). Also, of or presented by a symphony orchestra and/or the society sponsoring it.

The Chickens Concert Series #8: METAL!

So my first metal concert (well my second metal concert because I went to Ozzy and Rob Zombie but my first small scale metal concert and from what I understand small scale concerts are more legitimate representations of metal because they are more outsider-y). Terror and Kataklysm were OK but I liked Divine Heresy and Chimaira best so I'll talk about them. Divine Heresy was the first opening band. The Drummer (Tim Yeung) played so crazy fast it was, well, crazy. It sounds like machine gun fire! Dino Cazares (guitar) and Joe Payne (bass) signed my CD, they were all happy when I told them they were awesome. Dino said he liked my shirt. Good times!


Fun Facts about Divine Heresy:

A new band, they were formed in 2006 by Dino Cazares (born in 1966 in El Centro, CA), who has been in quite a few bands since '89, when he helped form Fear Factory under the name Ulceration, before forming Divine Heresy. He plays an 8 string guitar! EIGHT! Plus it's downtuned a step so he can play even lower - how sweet is that?! (thanks to Donaldo for the random fact). Anywho, Joe Payne was brought on for touring but Dino played bass as well as guitar on the band's first release record (Bleed the Fifth).

Chimaira [sic] (I couldn't find out why they spelled it that way) was the headliner band. I'm pretty sure the opening music was from Conan the Barbarian but I'd have to rent it to check (I'll get the lab boys on it). Apparently Chimaira has recently been rather screwed over by their (now former) record company which almost caused them to break up but it's all good now. Their new album is called Resurrection.

Sidebar: I'm pretty sure it is illegal for a metal band not to have a song called "resurrection" (or some variation thereof) and still call themselves a metal band. Go figure.

Anyway, their new album is supposed to be their most technically demanding to date. Unfortunately I'm a Chimaira newbie and ignorant of their earlier music so I didn't know what was new and what was old. I do know they played a like 20 minute long song with rambling solos for most of their encore. Great stuff. I love how you really only get things like that in metal and jazz. Everything is connected for sure.

One final note: metal album art is so cool.

p.s. To the drunk guy with too low pants sitting at the table in front of us: Tighty whities are NOT metal (I don't care how much black you are wearing on the outside). To the goths who were reservedly rocking out near the stage: I love goths, I'm always impressed by people who put that much time and effort into their appearance. Especially if it is for the purpose of freaking people out. Much better than hippies, they don't put any thought into their appearance for the same reason. Damn hippies.

Go Riders Go!

Best game ever (so far)! WooHoo! http://www.saskriders.com/














Football is pretty kickass, but everything is better with foreign Simpsons:

Dr.McNinja

So dang funny it's crazy! Home of such awesomeness as: ninjas, zombies, zombie ninjas, ninjas on fire, velociraptors, paleontologist banditos, ninjas riding velociraptors, paleontologist banditos riding velociraptors, gorilla receptionists, gorillas high fiving sharks, evil ninjas with chainsaw nunchuks, zombie Benjamin Franklin re-enacting Thriller...

Little CP (and pals) as a pirate/chipmunk:

Eeeevil!

Due to popular demand I give you...Evil Kitty Pumpkin! TaDa!



















p.s. Imagine it slightly less shriveled

THIS! IS! ...

This is for Jer...hopefully it'll take the edge off of remembering the original...

Remember Remember the Fifth of November

On November 5, 1605 Guy Fawkes was arrested for treason. The plot was discovered after an anonymous letter was left at the home of one Lord Monteagle (left apparently as a favor to some mutual acquaintances) warning him not to set foot in Parliament that day. It is quite the sordid little tale which I am not going to recount completely (there is a pretty good/short biography here). Long story short: houses were searched, Guy Fawkes alias John Johnson was discovered with some suspicious materials in his possession (Fawkes was posing as a servant under the alias John Johnson so that he could keep an eye of the gunpowder in its hiding place and later set it off). The letter had suggested that Parliament would receive a "terrible blow, yet they shall not see who hurt them". Some quick thinking (and some other stuff happened before, during, and after) and Bam! mental leap to someone is going to blow up the Parliament building with gunpowder. Since the authorities had not liked the cut of Fawkes/Johnson's jib and they hadn't found any WMDs the first time, they searched again and this time found Fawkes with the gunpowder (also, once again, some other stuff happened). Guy Fawkes was captured and tried as a traitor with his co-conspirators and found guilty for plotting against the government. After the trial he was sent to the Tower of London to await his punishment where he was subsequently tortured and starved. When it came time for the execution Fawkes was so weak from disease, etc. that he could barely make it to the gallows. Oh yeah, not only was he found guilty, he was found so guilty that he was sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered! The most horrific form of execution ever practiced in Britain (well "officially" anyway). That's uber-guilty! Pretty stiff price for a guy who didn't actually end up doing anything, on the other hand what have we seen happen to suspected "terrorists" today who really haven't even been thinking about doing anything (*cough* Bush *cough*) so maybe we haven't gotten any better. At least Fawkes was caught red handed and would have destroyed the Parliament buildings and everyone in them if he hadn't been. The papers say that his death was met with thunderous applause from the assembled unwashed masses but who knows if that's true (I hear they liked a good hanging back in they day). The following year (in 1606 for those who haven't been paying attention) it became an annual tradition/yearly custom for the King and Parliament to commission a sermon to commemorate the event, these became known as "Gunpowder Plot Sermons". This, along with the famous poem, are meant to warn people of what happens to traitors and that treason would never be forgotten. In addition, Guy Fawkes Day is commemorated with fireworks (how ironic) and bonfires culminating with the burning of effigies of Guy Fawkes. I must admit that I knew very little about Guy Fawkes (and confess to still knowing very little) and his historical context or any of the various other anthropological bric-a-brac that I should know if I really want to speak intelligently about the subject. However, I do know that without any real info, the story and poem very easily took on a revolutionary and even positive and inspiring connotation (in my mind anyway) and was not the cautionary tale to strike fear in the hearts of traitors and patriotism in the hearts of...well...patriots everywhere that it was originally intended to be. Probably because Guy Fawkes has been repeatedly romanticized in various formats from books to paintings (for me it was primarily from "V for Vendetta", I know it's not as intellectual as 18th century woodcuts or something but hey, at least it's not The Simpsons). Makes you think about the duality of such symbols, one person's cautionary example is another person's Robin Hood, as well as how stories change through time. I for one had the Robin Hood version of Fawkes in my head but you know what? Fawkes was obviously a loony (he was going to blow a bunch of people up remember and he said he would have blown himself up too if he had too, that's just crazy talk I don't care how much you romanticize it) and he was xenophobic (some people say he wasn't really a political activist he was just racist, reportedly he told King John he was planning to blow all the Scots back to Scotland) and also he was in league with the Catholic Church (yeah I know not everyone thinks that's bad) on the plot. But see, all that doesn't matter if you're in the right mindset. The "Damn the Man" and all that mindset. It reminds us that a symbol will end up being what you need it to be regardless of what the "truth" was (if there even is such a thing). I wonder what I (or you) would have thought of that poem if I (or you) just read it without any preconceived notions? Bah! Scratch that! That's impossible and it probably wouldn't make any sense anyway, such is culture I suppose.

p.s. View an old newspaper article from the time here and there is a transcript of the trial here. Also, it turns out there is a Center for Fawkesian Pursuits with a bunch of pictures, Fawkes is definitely portrayed differently in earlier vs. later depictions.

Happy Halloween!

Buh Buh Buuuuh! Woohahahahah!

The Chickens Concert Series #7:Rob Zombie and Ozzy

Oh Man! How much awesomeness was that all in one place?! A lot! That's how much. This might have to encompass concert series #8 too! Rob Zombie put on a highly entertaining show. It had everything you'd want: the drums were set up on top of a giant devil head, movies were playing on big screens, and halfway through superbeast, a giant zombie robot thing, came out and danced (I'm pretty sure it was the two dancing girls inside that suit, they're multitalented). Anyway, excellent show, and Ozzy? Well, Ozzy is Ozzy isn't he!? His show started with a hilarious video with Ozzy in various TV shows (including such shows as Lost and The Office) and ended with fireworks on the stage. Definitely awesome sauce! He was a little unintelligable when he talked but he sung the songs very well and he jumped around and danced and was generally kickass. Anyway, I found a few clips of the concert on YouTube, see below.


Fun Facts: Rob Zombie (aka Rob Cummings born in 1965), went to college but dropped out to follow music. He worked as a Technician on PeeWee's Playhouse (Ha!)! He was in the band White Zombie (named after a 1932 Bela Lugosi movie) from 1985 to 1995 after which he began persuing his solo career. Of course he's made movies and things but also, he made a comic book called "The Adventures of El Superbeasto" which is supposed to become a cartoon later. You can learn other stuff from Wikipedia (just like I did), I just thought those things were neat.

Ozzy (born John Michael Osbourne in 1948) plays the harmonica. Ummm...upon further research there is very little other information available on this relatively unknown musician - I believe he sings mostly dance-funk fusion, likes rainbows and kittens and his pet peeves are swearing and mean people. And once he did a Christmas duet with Jessica Simpson.

An unexpected (to me but not to people who knew what to expect) highlight of the concert was Zakk Wylde's (born Jeffrey Phillip Wiedlandt in 1967, founder of the band Black Label Society) guitar solo. You gotta love this guy! He has this long blond hair and through a lot of the concert he would stand in front of this large fan and play these amazing metal solos, just picture it! Haha! Classic! Here is some of his solo:

p.s. That Jessica Simpson thing is actually true.

¡Cañonero!

Sweet zombie Jebus I love having a car! Like get this, yesterday I drove to school and then I drove to work and then I drove back to school and then I drove home! Weee! I named it my Canyonero. I'll put a picture of it up later I promise, I have to get it groomed first. Good times. Also, cars are better with the Simpsons. My favorite part is how the "Hey! Hey!" is different depending on what language it's in.

En español for little CP:
Sus sospechosos incendios son asunto de los tribunals. ¡Cañonero!


Here's the same clip but in German. Unerklärliche brände sind ein fall das gericht! Ha Ha Ha!

Thanksgiving

The first Thanksgiving, like many European firsts in the New World, happened in Newfoundland. It was celebrated in 1578 (43 years before the pilgrims landed in Plymouth) when Martin Frobisher arrived in Newfoundland and wanted to give thanks for his safe arrival. Thanksgiving was declared a national holiday in Canada in 1879 (before that it was generally celebrated in either late October or early November anyway). Originally, Thanksgiving was set for November 6th however, on January 31, 1957, Canadian Parliament announced that it would be on the second Monday in October. This was because after the World Wars Remembrance Day was set for November 11th and they didn't want the two holidays in the same week. Also, since Canadian Thanksgiving is more about the harvest than about pilgrims it makes sense to have it earlier than the Americans, what with our earlier harvest season and all. Anyway, I just like an excuse to see the family and eat pie. Mmmmm...pie. [Update: I had a clip of the episode "Lisa on Ice" where Homer says, "All right, pie. I'm going to start doing this... makes chomp, chomp,chomp... and if you get eaten, it's your own fault", but the clip is gone now. Oh well such is the internet.]


p.s. I just watched Apocalypto which is what is up with the comic.

The Chickens Concert Series #6: Days of the New

Wednesday night was Days of the New at the Roxy. Not the best venue I know, "skunky" may be the best word for it. Nevertheless the music was pretty sweet. Gravelly base-y vocals (supplied by lead Travis Meeks) are one of my faves. Interestingly, apparently he was on an episode of the reality show "Intervention", which speaks for itself (credit to Tam for that tidbit - HA! No McShanty points for you! Note: See this earlier post for what that means). As an aside I have to say that, upon investigation, Travis was much hotter back when he had short hair. Of course this was the first time I've seen them so I didn't know that, see pic to the right from this website (once again thanks to Tam for pointing that out). The music was bang on though and the basist plays a five-string (also pretty sweet)! So as it stands the list of awesome-ly awesome Chickens concerts continues...next time: Ozzy!

This video is from a recent concert in Texas, note the like 5 skillion acoustic guitars all over the stage.

p.s. Here is the band's website

A Salute to Fall

I love Fall! It has to be my favorite season I think. It's beautiful, it's not too hot, the bugs die off, and there's...um...pumpkins and things. Don't get me wrong - I love Winter (snow, xmas, winter sports), it's right up there with Summer (beaches, vacations, archaeology). Even Spring has it's virtues (no more winter but it's not so hot yet). However, you just can't beat Fall for shear awesome-ness, it even has a few of my favorite holidays in it too. Maybe I just like having seasons? Anyway, how about a salute to seasons then...

[ A year passed. Winter changed into Spring. Spring changed into Summer. Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn. Until one day...] Note: Unfortunately, I couldn't find an actual video clip but I'm sure other dorks like me can visualize it.

The Chickens Concert Series 5: Chris Cornell

You may remember Chris Cornell from such bands as Sound Garden (1984-1997) and Audioslave (2001-2007). Soundgarden released seven albums over the years and Audioslave released 3 and Chris has also released 2 solo albums so far (Euphoria Morning in 1999 and his new album Carry On). He also was the founder and frontman for Temple of the Dog which released a self title album in 1991. And he has contributed and played with many bands including Alice in Chains under the band name "Alice Mudgarden" in 1992 (that's for Kim, the Mud part is because the song also involved Mark Arm from Mudhoney on vocals). He has many credits for contributing to soundtracks for movies and video games too (like the title song for Casino Royale). There is a bio, among other things, on the official website. Anywho, let's just say he is friggin' awesome and so was his concert! Woohoo! Oh and the base player was wicked (he's on the right but I forget his name), at one point Chris was singing at him and he was playing back what he sang! It was sweet, but Kim totally missed it because she was distracted by a jerk. Of course the whole band was amazing, great guitar and some pretty cool drum solos (during which the whole band would throw things at him but they couldn't break his concentration). Chris played so many great songs it's hard to say a favorite, Kim will extol the virtues of the acoustic medly of songs that he played in the middle of the concert, I was just pleased that he played Hunger Strike (I love that song). I couldn't find a video from the concert but here is one from when he was in Winnipeg:

The Simpsons - Season 19

Hahahahaha! Good times!

Spider pig!
Spider pig!
Does whatever a spider pig does!
Can he swing-
from a web?
No he can't!
He's a pig!
Lookout!
Here comes the spider pig!

The Chickens How to Guide (vol.3): Stalking the Wily Helicopter

As we all know I am all about the safety so I thought I would take the time to explain the do's and do not do's of approaching the wily and elusive helicopter.

One must be sure not to make any sudden movements as this might startle the creature. Be sure to approach from a safe distance and make sure that you have made eye contact and wait for a sign of recognition before getting closer. When you do approach always be aware of the ferocious tail and steer clear.

Most domesticated helicopters that you will meet have been equipped with saddlebags or some similar apparatus or compartment to pack extra gear but these must be utilized with caution as approaching the beast from the side or the rear leaves you open to attacks and, once again, will invariably make the animal nervous and aggravated.

Next time: killing and field dressing the wild helicopter! Stay tuned! Also, helicopters are better with the Simpsons (sorry it's in English).

My new baby

This is my new Olympus Stylus 7.1MP Waterproof Digital Camera (770SW). It is shockproof up to 5ft and I can take pictures in the rain (or underwater). The instructions even recommend that you immerse it in water if it gets dirty! See, I wanted an indestructable camera because, you know, besides being accident prone I work in the field. Anyway, the salesguy picked up the display camera of this and smashed it on the counter! Cool stuff. They even knocked $50 off but it was because he wanted me to buy the 4 year warranty. Also it takes video and has really good macro even if the zoom could be better. I brought it with me to do my helicopter work and I was pleased. And of course, cameras are better with the Simpsons (this time in italiano, no more english Simpsons for you).The guys who run this blog are pretty funny, in their profile they have an audio clip of them singing the "Oh Mindy" song. Hahaha, those wacky Italians.

My family "Simpsonized"

So this is what my family would look like "Simpsonized" according to http://simpsonizeme.com/ . You upload a closeup of your face to the program and it churns out a reasonable Simpson-esque facimile of you.You do have to tweak them a little but I'm pretty pleased with how they turned out! They were all pretty much the same no matter what picture I used (although I could get my Dad with varying degrees of stubble and sometimes the program would pick up on glasses and sometimes it wouldn't) except for L's pic. The one below came from a pic from when we were in PEI whereas this one came from a less scruffy pic. Ah the many faces of L. [NOTE: Later I tried another pic of me and it came out with the picture to the right, pretty different! Also I figured out how to add a nose piercing. The program definitely had the most trouble with little C and my pics.] Anywho, it's all an advertising ploy (see commercial on YouTube here) from Burger King (sucks, blech! also their mascot creeps me out) and the Simpson's Movie (awesome, loved it!) but it's pretty neat anyway. I don't mind being exposed to advertising if I get something cool out of it, better than a normal commercial.

Small sidebar rant: Remember when there were no commercials at the movies? Most people do because it really has only taken hold in the last 7 or 8 years or so. What a racket eh? People actually PAY to watch these commercials and no one can change the channel. At least in the beginning the commercials were cooler or higher budget than the ones on TV, but now they are exactly the same and you see the same ones every time you go. Maybe it's a response to the ability that many of us have developed to selectively ignore advertising in our daily lives (it's because there is so much of it that our advertising receptors are overloaded). To be effective, advertisers need to get us all when we are: 1. paying attention to a large surface that can be advertised upon, and b. in a good mood. Where else but at the movies and at major sporting events do you get that kind of opportunity? I guess what I'm saying is you can't blame advertisers for wanting to do it, but I do anyway. Also, advertising is better with the Simpson's...and in German (since I got such good feedback from the last time).

Carl

Look at my new baby! Isn't it pretty?! He is a Beaver Creek BCB05 4 string acoustic base. He is 124cm tall and 42cm wide at the bottom. The case is huge and looks like it could hold a cello! I love it but oh man do my fingers hurt!

The Simpsons is better with...um...uh...

Rabbit and Mouse

What an absolutely hilarious little production! Up there with the Angry Alien 30 second bunny movies for sure, if a little lower tech. This is Rabbit and Mouse from Meerkatmedia. They are basically flash videos of black and white drawings about the misadventures of a rabbit and mouse. They have a MySpace page here but their website with the actual videos is here. Anyway, here is a video they did called "you, a rock, or nothing". I was totally betting on the rock to win, dang.

No TV and No Beer Make Homer...something,something.

So what do you do when you don't have cable? Go outside? Read a book? Write your thesis? NO you fool! You turn to the internet:

There are sites that are hubs to take you to videos of TV and movies posted on the internet. For example, Alluc.org, Ch131, FreeTVonline, and SurfTheChannel. Besides that many TV stations from CTV to MTV have a lot of online content (in fact most networks have many of their shows viewable online) I am so not going to make a list of them (it's called Goggle boys and girls). Although many channels have video that is not viewable in Canada due to copyright laws (but you can get around that sometimes by going through a Canadian channel that carries the show, such as Global for SNL videos) . That being said, there are sites like wwiTV that give you links to hundreds of TV stations with online content, broadcasts, and streaming video from all over the world (there are like 6 music TV stations from Poland, who knew?). There are quite a few wacky stations out there (the Canadian ones are the standard fare, mostly CBC, there are a lot of online religious channels from the States). Beeline TV is much the same but arranged by language of the station instead of country of origin. These sites can't possibly list all stations though and they don't.

Now of course there is YouTube for all your video needs but there are other similar sites that are more geared towards movies and TV like vid2c, DivX has Stage 6, Megavideo, and Veoh has a lot of movies and videos (but sometimes the content is restricted to members).

Don't worry D, life without TV ain't so bad (though I guess I do have those 3 fuzzy channels), eventually you'll learn to live again. Welcome to the world of goal oriented watching, where TV isn't the background noise of your life. And, as always, TV is better with the simpsons:

p.s. Unfortunately, I could see this actually happening. Ha, ha! Imagine a whole thesis worth of "no TV and too much beer make Denise go crazy! Urge to kill RISING!"):

A Chickens! Cultural Moment: Twelfth Night

Shakespeare on the Saskatchewan was the first professional summer Shakespeare festival other than Stratford and Toronto. Unlike Calgary's sumer theatre it is held in tents by the river which are set up and completely torn down every summer. Also, while it is done by professional actors it costs money. Anyway, was rally good and I was pleased.

Die Hard

There seems to be a bit of a theme but I can't quite put my finger on it...hmmm.

Here is a video which answers the age old question, "What if Die Hard were a 20's black and white silent movie?" Some mildly offensive racial slurs and they take out all the violence but they had their priorities mixed up back then.

For Carrie...

sorry I couldn't find one that was more gluten intolerance friendly but this fits you better I think.

Educational Sidebar: Badgers

Badgers are Mustelids (members of the Weasel family) and are related to such smelly and/or angry animals as wolverines, ferrets, otters, fishers, martens, and minks. Yeah sure he looks cute but he'd kill ya soon as look at ya. They are the only carnivore in Canada that burrows after and eats other burrowing animals, so we like them here because they eat things like ground squirrels (and anything else they can get there claws on). The species of badger that occurs in North America is the North American badger (Taxidea taxus) which is somewhat related, but quite different from the European badger (Meles meles).

Badgers are very distinctive looking, especially their faces (a good way to tell between the Euro and north american badger is by snout length). Badgers have a noticeable white stripe that runs down the top of their head as well as black cheek patches (called “badges” which is how badgers get their name). They are about 60-90 cm (2-3 ft.) in length and generally weigh about 7-8 kg (15.4-17.6 lbs.) for adult females and 10-14 kg (22-30.8 lbs.) for adult males. Badgers have a sort of “flattened” appearance because their hair is short on their backs and long on their sides (also because they have stubby little legs). Their forefeet are actually much larger than their hindfeet (all the better for burrowing with grandma). Badgers are quite highly adapted for digging and can actually dig up to a metre deep in a minute! Now is that a probe or a test he's digging because I doubt that takes screening into account.

Now to the good stuff. The Taxidea taxus' (left below) dental formula is I 3/3; C 1/1; P 3/3; M 1/2. The P4 has a medial shelf and a hypocone. Transverse rows of cusps on the M1 are distinctive, yet exhibit some variation within the genus. The m1 has a well-developed trigonid and a talonid with a central hypoconid and entoconid.

This is in contrast to Meles meles (right) which has a much more flattened M1

(Pop Quiz: which one is more omnivorous?).

It has a relatively short rostrum, and robustjaws at the rostral end of the skull and at the base it has a triangular shaped occipital and enlarged tympanic bullae. The "wrap-around" jaw hinge means that lowerjaw cannot be removed from skull. Male badgers have a prominent sagittal crest which increases in size with age.

This is all because I saw this awsome badger in a den the other day. I love seeing wild badgers!

Also, badgers are better with the Simpsons:

German is better with the Simpsons

Here is that same episode from the last post but in German. At least I think it's German. I wonder how well it translates?

The "Chickens" How To Guide (vol.2): Bettin' on the ponies

The first thing you need to learn about bettin' on the ponies is how to read the racing form. Racing forms are sort of like the periodic tables of horse racing. There is a whole bunch of information crammed into a small space but it is only useful if you already know what numbers are where and what they mean.

Yes you can just go and randomly pick a number (which I have done), or colour (which I have also done). FYI the same numbers are always the same colours. Or, if you are a little more advanced, on the coolness of the horse name. But I feel it is important not be ignorant (or at least attempt to be conversant with basics of anything you are going to spend money on) so here is an interactive tutorial on racing form literacy.

At the top of the page for a given race will have the number of the race (say 2 if it is the second race), the type of race it is (say 6 furlongs), what sorts of horses are competing, what the purse is, weights, and any other general info about the race itself, as well as any allowed combination or multiple bets. See the tutorial for the rest.

Now that you know all the info you need to pick your winners (like if it has a cool name), here's how to bet.

Straight or Single bets:

This is the simplest and most common bet placed on a single horse. Obviously the more complex (and unlikely) the bet, the higher the payoff (that's why they call it gambling boys and girls). But this isn't always the case because the payoff is based on the odds given, but also on how many people make the same bet as you do. So, for example, sometimes the payoff on a bet to show on a favorite horse to win is higher than the to place payoff. Straight bets include:

Win bet. Simple, you bet on which you think will win. If they do, you collect. Usually the posted odds are based on returns on a win bet.
Place bet. A wager for place means you collect if your selected horse finishes either first or second.
Show bet. A wager to show means you collect if your selected horse finishes either first, second or third.

Combination Bets:

Combinations cover from two to four horses to win in chosen order. Any given race will always allow all straight bets, but will only allow certain combination bets (these will be listed on the racing form next to the number of the race). Combination bets include:
Quiniela. A bet placed on two horses to finish first and second in either order.
Perfecta or Exacta. A bet placed on two horses but they must cross the finish line in exact chosen order.
Trifecta. A bet placed on three horses to cross the finish line in exact chosen order.
Superfecta. A bet placed on four horses to cross the finish line in exact chosen order.

Multiple bets:
Bets across multiple races different races. Low odds, high pay outs. You won't win these unless you drugged the horses. Some common multiple bets include:

Daily Double: Similar to an accumulator you select the winners of the first and second races on that day. You must place your bet before the start of the first race.

Pick 3. This wager requires the player to pick the winners of three consecutive races. Some race tracks have a rolling pick 3, which is when the player must pick three races in a row and it continues for the next three races. Also comes in pick 4 or even 6.
Parlay or Accumulator. A kind of 'let-it-ride' bet. Making simultaneous selections on two or more races with the intent of pressing the winnings of the first win on the bet of the following race selected, and so on. All the selections made must win for you to win the parlay. If a race is a tie, postponed or cancelled, your parlay is automatically reduced by one selection; a double parlay becomes a straight bet, a triple parlay becomes a double. A parlay bet can yield huge dividends if won, but good luck with it.

OK so you know what race you are betting on, what horse(s) you want, and what kind of bet you want to make. So now what? Well, the minimum bet is usually $2, you go up to the nice people behind the counters who want to take your money and say, "number 3 to win in the 5th" and give them your toonie. Well, don't say that EVERY time unless you only ever go to race number five and only like to bet on 3. Anyway, you get the idea. For a quiniela you might say "$2 quiniela, numbers 5 and 6". If the results of the first two horses are either 5-6 or 6-5, you win.

There are also special sorts of bets in which you box out multiple horses for a bet. These cost more, but you are slightly more likely to win. For example in a Quiniela Box you pick three or more horses. You win if any two of your selections finish first and second. To bet you say "$2 quiniela box on 4,5 and 6". You are making three separate bets so your minimum bet is $6. If they finish 4-5, 4-6, 6-4, 6-5, 5-4 or 5-6, you win. You can box as few as three or as many as the field (all the horses in the race) but this costs more.

With a Trifecta it is much the same. For a straight Trifecta you say "$2 trifecta numbers 7,4 and 5" and you win if they finish in that order, but with a Trifecta Box you pick three horses to finish first, second and third, in any order. To bet you say "trifecta box 2,3 and 5." You are actually making six $2 bets, so your total bet is $12. If they finish 2-3-5, 2-5-3, 3-2-5, 3-5-2, 5-2-3 or 5-3-2, you win. More commonly there is a Trifecta Key in which you pick your favorite horse to win, then two or more others to place and show in any order. To bet you say "trifecta key on 1 with 2 and 3." You are actually making two $2 bets so your total bet is $4. To win your Key horse must win and the other two must finish either 1-2-3 or 1-3-2.

Anyway, I've never made one of these kind of crazy bets myself. I like to stick to my little $2 bets and hope to break even and maybe make a few pennies to pay for a snack. This isn't too hard to do making easy bets and, even if you do lose all night, if you stick to your little bets you won't be out more than the price of a movie and popcorn (as D would say). Well that's it for this installment of how to do fun stuff. I couldn't find a horse racing clip but at least I can say that gambling is better with the Simpsons:

p.s. Just think of them as big dogs!